Letter Three

Dear Friend,

The other night, you told me the journey is long, treacherous, exhausting, and confusing but rewarding, gratifying, and fulfilling. You asked me what it means to me to be a pilgrim or on a pilgrimage. I honestly hate it when you ask me questions with the answers you already know but want to use that tactic to get me to talk or come to my own discovery, my epiphany. I am sometimes too tired to formulate answers or sound wise and insightful. I want you to talk to me plainly, get to the point, and land the plane. I don’t always enjoy being the so-called student, as I always struggle with the temptation to outwit you or come up with clever ideas to impress you. (I hope you never read this now.)

But whatever.

You asked me what it means to be a pilgrim or on a pilgrimage.

So this is what I said: A long time ago, I remember hearing this; I still can’t remember from whom or where- if it was you or someone else. But I do wish someone had shared this little nugget of truth with me long before.

A pilgrim is anyone who embarks on a journey to a sacred space for deeper faith and reason. 

And, this part stuck with me…our spiritual lives (or just our lives in general) and our pilgrimages are not a constant incline of incredible growth and goodness—but rather an up-and-down journey. Sometimes, you feel like your faith, joy, and spirit are on the up, climbing the graph of success. You have equity in your faith tank, you have some old skeletons cleaned out, your healing is noticeable, and there has been a return on investment from all the work.

Then, out of nowhere, you will have moments when you will feel like your line of spiritual growth is dramatically going down. You are withdrawn, bankrupt of all that spiritual investment. You feel totally empty. You feel like you are falling. You are draining out all the saved-up investments. Where did all that progress go?

This is normal and very human.

The spiritual walk in life and on a pilgrimage is like that: up and down.

But it’s like what you told me: do not give up or stop spiritual practices, such as praying, meditating, reading, community, communion, worship, and being still.

Even when you feel like you're declining, take another step.

Keep moving forward.

Apply a new practice or a new rhythm.

Start your new chapter.

Your story wouldn’t be great if there were never any ups and downs or no tension. Or chapters, sometimes we just need to turn the page and start a new chapter.

Or just stop and be still. Know He is God, and we are not.

One of the most challenging things for a pilgrim is the actual act of slowing life down to the simple act of being still or just not being busy. If comparing this to the Camino, it would be that you have stopped everything in life and just started walking during the day, nothing else. Walk. Walking to a destination that is deemed spiritual. But all you are doing is walking. You could walk and talk. Or pray and walk. But you are not engaging in all the other demands of your life. 

It’s not as easy as it sounds. 

We live incredibly busy lives. 

We spend over eight to ten hours a day on our devices. 

Our posture is not the best, our minds are restless, our hearts are anxious, and our to-do list…it just never ends. Too many people have put unrealistic expectations on us, too many relationships are fragile, too many payments have piled up, and too many doctor visits, diagnoses, and disorders are present. Our jaws are clenched, our fists are tightly closed, our heads ache from stress, and, just today, we let someone down…again.  

There is pain that has not been attended to; there is regret that is delaying progress. 

We are craving something and haven’t been able to define it. Our methods of fulfillment and relief did not satisfy the craving. We have faith one day; the next day, haunting doubts plague our doctrine. We wake up at night at the wrong hours and worry until fear invades us. We are bored yet overcommitted. We are tired but ready to do something. 

Sometimes, walking, not doing anything else brings all of this stuff into the light. 

Nothing gets comforted, healed, restored, re-wired, or repaired by staying in the dark.

After talking about all this and getting it all out, you said I am a legitimate pilgrim and that I am in safe company. 

I am not alone on the path; many pilgrims are just like me. 

You told me to stay on the path step-by-step, hour-by-hour, day-by-day. 

You encouraged me to pray this breath prayer, (inhale and exhale) these ancient words: 

His mercies…are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.